2010:
- Aced all my classes, All prereqs Done. Even statistics. OMG!
- Got accepted into Mass General Hospital Accelerated Nursing Program
- Got a full scholarship too! Holy crap i've never had a scholarship before!
Aug 2011
- Got a job as a medical assistant!
- Quickly disillusioned with the medical profession
- No Desk
- No Space to work
- Spent 50-70% of my day talking to insurance companies and filling out forms
- forms come back denied.
- Send out forms again,
- Repeat...
- Crushing paperwork workload, mostly busywork
- 3 months in i'm getting the hang of it and enjoying talking to patients everyday.
- Paperwork is just not getting done.
- getting good at urinalysis, EKG, spirometry and ear lavage.
- First encounter with my Doctor screaming at me in the hallway.
- What did I do? I didn't do an EKG before she came in for someone having coughing chest pain. I probably should have, but yelling through the hallway, not a good communication method.
- Okay, she gets one free jerk pass...
- She screams down the hallway at me again.
- this time because i did an EKG without her ordering it first.
- The guy had non-coughing chest pains.
- I have a heart to heart with my doctor...
- She apologizes, I feel burned.
- It happens a third time. This time she is waiting outside the patients door while i'm doing vitals, and telling a joke. Now my routine.
- She lays into me in the hall, with the patients door open... not good, not for me, for the patient or for her.
- I'm so stressed I puke... School was never this difficult, blood and seizing patients not this difficult.
- I'm shaken about my decision to do this. Most of the other doctors... no, all of the other doctors are great in this practice. I start asking the nurses what the best parts of their day is... I don't see happy people, i don't get happy answers.
- I didn't know it at the time, but I decided to stop right then. Stop pursing nursing.
- I'm pissed off most of the time, not happy in my life.
- I start applying to other jobs. Outside the field of nursing. I do this everyday on my lunch break.
- I got hired! (completely different industry) I put in my two weeks. Gave my doctor a bottle of wine and a thank you card.
- Say my goodbyes to all the doctors that supported me, and will truly miss some of them.
- All 'i's' are dotted and 't's' are crossed.
- Start my new job. Yay, oh shit, but yay... I have a desk... I have say, I have influence, holy crap my boss is amazing! Holy crap i really like what i do here.
- Holy crap, i'm looking forward to going to work everyday.
- My old doctor sends me hate mail to my personal email account.
- I am happy to no longer work for her!
- And shaken.. i've never received hate mail from anyone.
- I forward to my old manager...
- I also get a raise! weehoo!
- Still struggling with my decision not to do Nurse Anesthesia. I really enjoyed the learning, was really good at it, and was looking forward to working with Doctors without Borders because they had a high CRNA need.
- I hear from old classmates, they can't get a job in nursing. Newly minted BSN's can't get a job in nursing.
- I think to myself. That would have been me. Unemployed and miserable...
- get an email from my old manager, my old Doctor has been let go.
- I'm kicking ass at work.
- I am still on the fence about becoming a CRNA... I'm good at it... it's interesting, the money, the vacation.
- I talk to a friend who is a nurse. She's not happy with her choice, has major back pain from standing all day, looks bedraggled. I ask for her advice... but just by looking at her, i'm glad to have made this decision.
- Officially decline scholarship and enrollment for the accelerated BSN.
- My work pays 6k a year for school
- Enroll in my first graduate class in IT.
- Love it.
- Life is good.
- Still miss the idea of being a CRNA.
- Much happier even though making much less.
- All is good. Difficult but good.
- I'm doing things I love everyday.
- I'm going to keep pushing on.
- My dreams are taking front seat over money, and i'm feeling more alive than i have in a long time.
So i guess i owe a thanks to that jerk doctor. Without her being and incredibly awful person, i'd still be doing nursing or unemployed, and miserable. Now i'm building a happier life everyday, and proud of the work i'm doing.
A long time ago i remember reading a horoscope. You have to decide to either go after your dreams full force, or go for money full force. I didn't decide for a long time, then when the finances really began to hurt, I tried the latter. It didn't work. Now i'm going after my dreams. It's working, and I'm happier.
If you're going after a CRNA, I hope you kick some ass. Good luck, and keep pushing. Just make sure you are doing it for the right reasons.
Thanks for reading... that is all.
